If I were to say that this year has been a test in every way imaginable, I wouldn’t be exaggerating. With kids homeschooling due to the pandemic, every family’s time and energy has been zapped in ways we had never imagined. Emotions were further tested with the demise of a very close loved one. I had barely begun to wrap my head around the unimaginable loss when the dreaded virus arrived at our doorstep.
Yes… It’s been a heck of a lot to take in!
There were mornings I did not want to get out of bed. I let the blog go and stopped returning phone calls. I wanted nothing to do with the world because I couldn’t deal with the dimness that had suddenly engulfed it. In one way, my illness provided a silver lining because it allowed me to just shut my eyes a little while longer and sort of disappear. Grief has a way of gripping one’s heart and squeezing every ounce of energy out of the soul.
But we are human.
God has given us this tremendous power to pick up every single fallen piece and start over. Life has to go on and we must find ways to move past our setbacks. I realized my wonderful kids needed a mother that was strong. They derive their strength from me. So, I needed to make myself available… to be wholeheartedly present in their little world… to reassure them that I was always going to be there for them. I just had to find a way to balance the intense feelings of disappointment and determination in order to carry on as best as possible.
One the ways in which we revived our bond was to start cooking together. I know it sounds silly, but it has been deeply therapeutic to re-enter the kitchen with this thing called ‘purpose.’ The ability to concentrate on the task at hand briefly sends the grief packing. It’s a welcome relief.
I look forward to seeking out new recipes. Many of the recipes have produced astounding results which, I must admit, can boost confidence and bring on a smile – especially when I watch my family enthusiastically devour the meal. My youngest has mastered the ‘thumbs up’ sign and is more than happy to dispense heartfelt compliments. I look forward to rotating the successful recipes often.
On that note, there have been a few meals that met the trashcan within minutes of dishing them out! The kids were too polite to utter a resounding ‘yuck’ but made a few excuses that brought on a chuckle.
I plan to try my hand at baking more often. Making bread brings on a bit of anxiety because working with yeast resulted in a mess the last time I tried. However, I’m at a place in life where I’m willing to view it as a challenge and not an impediment.
The mindset is slowly improving.
There are numerous studies that show that creativity in the kitchen can actually make people happier. One study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology revealed that tackling small, creative projects like cooking and baking can relax people and boost their enthusiasm. In fact, the 658 people who were the subject of the study actually started looking forward to indulging in kitchen after the two-week period.
Growing research supports the fact that cooking is therapeutic. The creativity involved is directly associated with emotional functioning because it soothes stress, builds self-esteem, and curbs negative thinking. More and more therapists, today, recommend cooking classes to people struggling with issues such as depression, anxiety, eating disorders, addiction, and even ADHD.
There exists a type of therapy called ‘behavioral activation’ which supports the concept of goal-oriented behavior. Therapists use the process of cooking and baking to encourage patients to take a mental break from their daily struggles. One patient, who was diagnosed with manic depression, reported immense relief when he underwent behavioral activation therapy. He relished the feeling of being able to take some control of his life every time he focused on measuring ingredients. To some, that may not mean a lot but for those suffering from mood swings, the ability to find stability in the kitchen can be life altering.
The process of cooking also results in a tasty – or at the very least, edible – meal which presents itself as some sort of a tangible ‘reward’ for the amount of effort that went into producing it.
That can be meaningful to many.
Prepping ingredients, stirring the pot, adjusting the salt, substituting ingredients, and returning to my computer to rewrite a recipe that will be passed on to my children helps me take my mind off things I cannot control. I liken it to some sort of meditation because it brings on a calming effect. And who could overlook the tasty output as well as the joy at the dinner table when all is said and done?
In a year brought to a standstill due to the virus, many people have managed to stay connected via food. Friends and family often take turns exchanging hot pots and dropping off cookies and soups. When we were all sick, it was a welcome relief to have family stop over with homemade chicken broth. Cooking and sharing meals with loved ones – while adhering to social distancing – has certainly given me the opportunity to feel connected to them. After all, whipping up recipes in the kitchen is not just a means for survival. In years to come, studies will reveal the tremendous benefits of alleviating feelings of stress and loneliness through the simple and caring act of dropping off meals for others.
A Word for the beginner…
I have intermediary skills in the kitchen, but I look forward to improving with every new meal I create, going forward. If you’re a novice in the kitchen, don’t fret. Here are a few things you can do to improve:
- Start out small. Revisit the recipes you find yourself making often and see if you can tweak them a bit.
- You can also download some of my favorite easy smoothie recipes.
- Dig out recipe books that are likely stashed away in your kitchen somewhere and dust them off. Alternatively, seek out simple recipes on Pinterest. Try your hand at appetizers and salads and go from there.
- Avoid recipes that require ingredients you might use a few times. For instance, if Japanese food is not something you foresee eating more than twice a month, then there’s no point in buying seaweed wraps or wasabi!
- Don’t buy a bunch of ingredients all at once. Make a menu for the week and buy groceries according so you don’t end up with rotting produce.
- As your skills improve, keep your standards realistic in order to prevent disappointment. The picture in the recipe book or on Pinterest will always look perfect. Don’t compare your work of art with them because, believe me, a whole lot goes into making those pictures look the way they do. The reasonable thing to do is to pick up a beginner’s cookbook and keep practicing.
- Once you’re a little more savvy, look for ingredients that go on sale. That way, if your meal doesn’t turn out like you imagined, you won’t feel too bad.
- On that note, make a small portion of everything you make the first time. This holds particularly true for exotic recipes or those that involve multiple steps. Once you get your recipe right, you can double or even triple the ingredients to make a full meal in the future.
In closing, always remember that meaningful time spent in the kitchen is the most basic form of self-care, but one needs to treat it as such. There’s a real difference between someone who feels compelled to make a meal so they can keep their family alive, and someone who looks forward to transforming ingredients into something appetizing that will feed their body, spirit, and – most importantly – their mind. Ultimately, the appreciation they receive from those who enjoy the meal they create can nourish them in ways that are deeply profound.
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